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Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
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A man tried to sell me a coffin yesterday - I told him that's the last thing I need. 
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Sid Rixon IV
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Fairway: A narrow strip of mown grass that separates two groups of golfers looking for lost balls in the rough.
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A family of geese hve moved in next door.
I don't really mind ................................................................. but I don't like their fowl language!
I don't really mind ................................................................. but I don't like their fowl language!
Slime
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Doc: I've got some bad news and some even worse news.. the bad news, you've got 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's worse than that!?
Doc: I should have told you yesterday!
Patient: What's worse than that!?
Doc: I should have told you yesterday!
Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
A man is lying on his deathbed in his upstairs bedroom, with only hours left to live. As he drifts in and out of consciousness, he suddenly smells the unmistakable, heavenly aroma of fresh, warm boiled eggs drifting up from the kitchen.
The scent fills him with a sudden burst of energy. Gathering the absolute last of his strength, he hoists himself out of bed. He slowly crawls out of the room, grips the handrail, and painstakingly makes his way down the stairs step by step.
He stumbles into the kitchen, coughing and wheezing, and sees his wife standing at the counter. In front of her is a massive platter piled high with perfectly peeled, warm boiled eggs.
Eschewing his weakness, the dying man reaches his trembling hand out toward the platter to take just one last bite of his absolute favorite food before he passes.
Suddenly, his wife whips around, smacks his hand away with a wooden spoon, and snaps:
"Don't touch those! They're for the funeral!"
The scent fills him with a sudden burst of energy. Gathering the absolute last of his strength, he hoists himself out of bed. He slowly crawls out of the room, grips the handrail, and painstakingly makes his way down the stairs step by step.
He stumbles into the kitchen, coughing and wheezing, and sees his wife standing at the counter. In front of her is a massive platter piled high with perfectly peeled, warm boiled eggs.
Eschewing his weakness, the dying man reaches his trembling hand out toward the platter to take just one last bite of his absolute favorite food before he passes.
Suddenly, his wife whips around, smacks his hand away with a wooden spoon, and snaps:
"Don't touch those! They're for the funeral!"
Slime
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If drinking alcohol damages short-term memory, just imagine what drinking alcohol can do.
jim8flog
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Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
SatchFan
Q-School Graduate
Must be a good book.
Mel Smooth
Hacker
jim8flog
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jim8flog
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I can't understand why my calculator suddenly stopped working.
It just doesn't add up.
It just doesn't add up.
Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
This should be a compulsory notice for every club comp!
Slime
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I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.
If you're interested let me know and I'll jump over my neighbour's fence and get it for you.
If you're interested let me know and I'll jump over my neighbour's fence and get it for you.
