Just to set the tone for the H4H weekend

[Khamelion]

A pirate goes to the doctors worried about the moles on his back, the doctor tells him "it's okay they're benign", "Arrrr, you need to check again as there be ten", says the pirate.


And they won't get and better.

 

[Hobbit]

A pirate goes to the doctors worried about the moles on his back, the doctor tells him "it's okay they're benign", "Arrrr, you need to check again as there be ten", says the pirate.


And they won't get and better.

H4H is not for two weeks

 

[Khamelion]

H4H is not for two weeks

Q - What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

A - Trombones

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Do I need ear plugs ?

 

[Khamelion]

Do I need ear plugs ?

One for you Phil

Q - What have Manchester United and King Richard the third got in common?

A - They were both buried in Leicester

 

[Hobbit]

One for you Phil

Q - What have Manchester United and King Richard the third got in common?

A - They were both buried in Leicester

You been missing your counselling sessions Dave?

 

[Crow]

You been missing your counselling sessions Dave?

I must be overexcited by the prospect of H4H, I laughed at all three.

 

[richart]

I must be overexcited by the prospect of H4H, I laughed at all three.

Obviously not a Man U fan then.

 

[Crow]

Obviously not a Man U fan then.

No, and being from Leicester made it even funnier.

 

[Region3]

Concerns are growing over the "knitting needle nutter" who has stabbed 43 people in the last 24hrs.

Police say they believe he's following some kind of pattern.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

 

[Hobbit]

Might as well join in.

"Just sold the Dyson on Ebay. Well, it was only gathering dust."

 

[Khamelion]

This one will come back to bite me, but hey ho:-

My missus stopped the car the other day and asked a guy for directions.

"What's the quickest way to get to the town centre?", shed asked

"Swap seats with your husband.", was his reply.

 

[Hobbit]

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the "10" button.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

My wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience

I cleaned the garage with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair

'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'

I'm really worried about my wife's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.