Joke Secret Santa Gifts

[Orikoru]

The people I'm seeing on Christmas Day evening have done a Secret Santa draw, and by good luck I drew the name of my golf mate. Any good ideas for golf-related Santa Banter? Upper limit is £15.

Alternatively, he is a Newcastle fan so I thought about getting a framed photo of Mike Ashley.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Be prepared to have that photo stapled to your head if you go through with it

 

[Bunkermagnet]

A sports direct emblazoned towel

 

[Bazz]

A non golfer bought me some "hilarious" emoji golf balls last year. How i laughed.

 

[Curls]

Dare you

 

[Orikoru]

A non golfer bought me some "hilarious" emoji golf balls last year. How i laughed.

I was given them by someone as well. I think I used one of them once on a knockabout round, the face on it wore off within a few holes, and it was an absolute rock. The other 5 are still at home somewhere.

Dare you

Although that would be quite funny, I don't really want to buy something he'll just lob straight in the bin.

 

[User2021]

A red Polo shirt

 

[Robster59]

I got some of these for a friend once.

Or you could try here

Horrible Golf Balls

 

[larmen]

A non golfer bought me some "hilarious" emoji golf balls last year. How i laughed.

I saw some at LIDL just last week, I think 6 for about GBP 3.

 

[Deleted member 18645]

Slightly off-topic but the best Secret Santa present I ever saw was when this straight-laced middle-aged woman got given a thermos flask. Someone told her to open it and when she did, this spring-loaded dildo came out of the top.

 

[Orikoru]

Had a brainstorm with another mate and we've landed on a few things I can give him.
Framed & signed photo of Mike Ashley (it will be my signing it obviously).
Sports Direct voucher - he'll probably end up using it but through gritted teeth since he hates funding Fat Mike.
I have a sleeve of three Pro V1s at home that I got for free, so I'm going to give him those, but draw a cock on the back of each ball which he hopefully won't see until he gets them out on the course.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Had a brainstorm with another mate and we've landed on a few things I can give him.
Framed & signed photo of Mike Ashley (it will be my signing it obviously).
Sports Direct voucher - he'll probably end up using it but through gritted teeth since he hates funding Fat Mike.
I have a sleeve of three Pro V1s at home that I got for free, so I'm going to give him those, but draw a cock on the back of each ball which he hopefully won't see until he gets them out on the course.

Which side is the back?

 

[Orikoru]

Which side is the back?

I just meant, the side you can't see when they're still in the sleeve, haha.

 

[Rooter]

Which side is the back?

How do you confuse an idiot, get them in a circular room and tell them to sit in the corner.