Adi2Dassler
Journeyman Pro
Only in this fine land.Makes me proud to be Scottish.
#hurricanebawbag
- Thread starter Adi2Dassler
- Start date
AMcC
Journeyman Pro
Appeal for the victims of Hurricane Bawbag !!
On December 8th 2011, a hurricane of biblical strength blasted across North and Central Scotland.
Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz pure shittin' masel big man so a wiz, ah need some jellies".
The hurricane decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress wa......s caused:
* Many were woken well before their giro arrived.
... * Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged.
* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.
* The cone fell off the head of the statue outside Glasgow’s Modern Art Gallery.
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Scotland.
* One resident, Pocahontis McGlinchy, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "Ah wiz like ‘Whit’s that? Ah,canny hear ma choonz innat man’ Wee Beyonce came running into my bedroom pure howlin so she wiz. My youngest two, Brooklyn an Blackpool slept through it. I was still pure rattlin when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
* Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.
* The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.
* Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:
- Sovvy rings
- Baseball caps
- Shell suits
- Tesco two stripe trainers
- White socks
- Chunky gold chains
Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
- Mutty Pies and Buckfast
- Hauf Pizza Suppers and Buckfast
- Mars Bars and Buckfast
- Kebabs and Buckfast
- Haggis Suppers and Buckfast
- Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast
* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four.
* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.
* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim
On December 8th 2011, a hurricane of biblical strength blasted across North and Central Scotland.
Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz pure shittin' masel big man so a wiz, ah need some jellies".
The hurricane decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress wa......s caused:
* Many were woken well before their giro arrived.
... * Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged.
* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.
* The cone fell off the head of the statue outside Glasgow’s Modern Art Gallery.
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Scotland.
* One resident, Pocahontis McGlinchy, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "Ah wiz like ‘Whit’s that? Ah,canny hear ma choonz innat man’ Wee Beyonce came running into my bedroom pure howlin so she wiz. My youngest two, Brooklyn an Blackpool slept through it. I was still pure rattlin when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
* Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.
* The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.
* Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:
- Sovvy rings
- Baseball caps
- Shell suits
- Tesco two stripe trainers
- White socks
- Chunky gold chains
Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
- Mutty Pies and Buckfast
- Hauf Pizza Suppers and Buckfast
- Mars Bars and Buckfast
- Kebabs and Buckfast
- Haggis Suppers and Buckfast
- Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast
* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four.
* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.
* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim
DavidO
Head Pro
So true... Only in the west though! 
Crow
Crow Person
Brilliant!
And to save any others with a sheltered upbringing south of the border the trouble, I've just found out on google that a sovvy ring is a sovereign ring and Buckfast is a tonic wine
And to save any others with a sheltered upbringing south of the border the trouble, I've just found out on google that a sovvy ring is a sovereign ring and Buckfast is a tonic wine
AMcC
Journeyman Pro
Meant to add translations provided if required )
)
Naybrains
Tour Rookie
Hurricane Scrotum is well and truly here! This winds mental at our bit the now. Seemingly mayby a bit of Snow En-Route too.
thats just so spot on, great post, anyone geezalift daaan south
SS2
Tour Rookie
So true... Only in the west though!
So, is "salt and sauce" with chips better that "salt and vinegar" ?
I think not !
Adi2Dassler
Journeyman Pro
So, is "salt and sauce" with chips better that "salt and vinegar" ?
I think not !
Oh aye, much better #hurricanechippysauce
Tommo21
Tour Winner
Hurricane Bawbag - 8/12/11
The day Scotland was awfy windy - mare (more) than normal!!
Did we panic? Naw (no)
Did we evacuate? Naw
Did we abandon Scotland? Naw
We just had oor tea early in case the lecky (electricity) went oot!!!!!!
Americans get Katrina, Irene, Pauline and Andrew......... We get hurricane Bawbag!!!!
You may take oor fences, you may take oor wheelie bins n trampolines but you'll never take our banter!!!!!
T
thecraw
Guest
Captainron
Big Hitting, South African Sweary Person
love it! Had a good old chuckle at that.
