Tiger
Money List Winner
Thank you m'lud. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It is an elaborate case and as I offer my closing statement for the prosecution I urge the jury to look beyond the gentile facade of this criminal mastermind. This is a cold and calculating individual that has painstakingly covered his criminal tracks with the most underhanded and nefarious deeds. The accused stands on trial for banditry a heinous, despicable and deplorable crime. He has woven tale after fabricated tale to cover his tracks, a meticulously crafted cover story to mask his devious intentions. His 'victory' at Forest of Arden made possible by his calculated accumulation of several 0.1s over a period of several months.
This intentional decline enabled the defendant to reach a 13 handicap and thus triumph over other competitors. Need I remind the court that this individual, who repeatedly pleaded golfing incompetence, somehow managed to cobble together two 'miraculous' performances when it mattered most. Once you may say is fortuitous, twice somewhat dubious.
The defendant has clearly spent some time masking his proficiency by incorporating some bizarre movements into his swing, but this ladies and gentleman is just another mark of his criminal genius! There can be only one judgement in this case. You have heard the harrowing testimony of 'Tony' who has been left mentally and emotionally scarred by his experiences at the hand of Homer. Bordering suicidal was the opinion of our medical expert. Please let no further harm be done and convict this man of his crimes against golf. I rest my case.
PS bloody well played Martin and congratulations. Rich reward for a tough year.
This intentional decline enabled the defendant to reach a 13 handicap and thus triumph over other competitors. Need I remind the court that this individual, who repeatedly pleaded golfing incompetence, somehow managed to cobble together two 'miraculous' performances when it mattered most. Once you may say is fortuitous, twice somewhat dubious.
The defendant has clearly spent some time masking his proficiency by incorporating some bizarre movements into his swing, but this ladies and gentleman is just another mark of his criminal genius! There can be only one judgement in this case. You have heard the harrowing testimony of 'Tony' who has been left mentally and emotionally scarred by his experiences at the hand of Homer. Bordering suicidal was the opinion of our medical expert. Please let no further harm be done and convict this man of his crimes against golf. I rest my case.
PS bloody well played Martin and congratulations. Rich reward for a tough year.
