Golfing Terms......May have been posted before, but...

[ColinR]

Some old favourites, but some new ones to me me too.......

Sayings:

* A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

* A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer

* A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer

* A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

* A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

* A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

* A Cuban - needs one more revolution

* An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim

* An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker

* A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

* A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

* A Kate Moss - bit thin

* A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

* A David Trimble - tentative prod

* A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water

* An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result

* A Russell Grant - a fat iron

* A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron

* A Rodney King - over-clubbed

* An O. J. Simpson - got away with it

* A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner

* A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

* A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

* A Robin Cook - just died on the hill

* A Michael Jackson - gradually fading

* A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs

* An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you

* A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

* A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right

* A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

* An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty

* A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

* A circus tent - a BIG top

* An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

* A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it

* A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

 

[HTL]

Very good ColinR, Some new ones in that batch.

 

[vig]

I thought a Denis Wise was a nasty FOUR footer!

one or two of the others may offend some on here

 

[birdieman]

How many of the above have you truly used on the course though? I can truly say I've only ever used 'Gerry' for aprovisional ball that's it, sorry.

One member at our club continually uses the term 'ffsism' sounded FIZZEM, on the greens and it's beginning to stick in my head. It's when you are first to putt, charge a putt then find it's still you to putt next - "FOR F***S SAKE IT'S STILL ME", terrible I know!

 

[minty18]

Bin Laden - from bunker to bunker.

I love this one as there is nothing more annoying than getting out of one bunker only to land in another, yet this saying always makes me laugh.

 

[benny]

These are wicked, anyone got any others?

 

[ColinR]

I thought of one the other day...

Forest Gump ... a bit thick but keeps running.

 

[ColinR]

or...

William Hague ... Short and to the right.

 

[Parmo]

Shaun Wright-Phillips = Chose the wrong club.

 

[GB72]

The opposite of a Rodney King is a Bleeding seal - underclubbed.

 

[mick]

quality colinr think afew of those will be coming out with me tommorow

 

[HTL]

Minty18 that is awesome! What a way to start the day with a big belly laugh. Cheers mate.

 

[GB72]

A few more for the list

A gynecologists assistant - a putt that shaves the hole
A Robin Cooke - it died on the hill
Condom - safe but didn't feel good
A circus tent - a BIG top
A Brazilian - Shaves both sides of the hole
A nipple licker - a shot that opens up the hole