Golfing bull*****ers

[shanker]

You must have met them. Four years ago I was partnered with a guy who claimed he had won the Irish Amateur when he he was 20 and had represented his country against the likes of Lyle and Faldo. You have to be a bloody good player to do that so I checked him out on the internet and and it was all fantasy.
I used to play with a Dundonian who was a crap player except when when he visited a nearby course where professional tournaments were sometimes held and he would shoot 72, not once, but again and again.
Why do they do it?

 

[brendy]

Yup ive played fellas who when beaten react like its the first time they have ever lost, one said, and I quote "You must be really happy, noone ever beats ME!" emphasis on ME! haha
Another tries to knock the absolute sh1t out of the ball then curses when his 170 yd 9 iron comes up 30 yds short. THEN has the gall to question me for hitting a 130 yd 6 iron, my reply, i could get there with a 9 iron (into hill and strong wind) but im going for percentages, if the 9 is mishit even slightly its coming down short, if I mishit the low 6 iron, its going to run out more. He did'nt understand the logic.

 

[geronimo]

the manager in my work is like that, he comes into work telling of how he played this shot or that shot on the course but when he plays with some of the blokes from work his game "goes" for one reason or another.

Totally harmless but a bit annoying.

 

[medwayjon]

A guy I used to work with used to tell us how he was off scratch and how titleist had offered to sponsor him to go on the challenge tour.

One day another guy from his club came in to our place while said geezer was off sick, turns out that he was off 24!

 

[ianmc]

i work with i guy whose golfing tale is as tall as they come he had a set of clubs bought for him for christmas and with the course closed on christmas day decided to try them out on the local playing field which he claims is a mile long he hit it the length of the field and crashed though some guys window and not only did it make a perfect hole in the window the guy whose house it was was sat tucking into his christmas lunch it landed in his yorkshire pudding talk about a hole in one.me and my workmates fell around laughing and this guy still insists this is true.ha ha ian mc

 

[muttleee]

Ha! As if a scratch player is good enough to join even the Challenge tour!

I know a guy who will insist that whatever ball you find is his and that he lost it during a previous round. This happens especially if you find a nice new Titleist or something similar - he'll swear blind that he lost that very ball on the same hole the previous week. You can also pretty much guarantee that any time he wades into knee deep rough to look for an errant tee shot (which happens a lot), the first ball he finds will miraculously always be his. Amazing huh??

 

[medwayjon]

I don't know mate, Poulter was off 2 when he turned pro I believe.

I reckon you should secrete a top-flite one day and see if this guy wants to claim that baby!!!

I know of somebody who always has a wonderfully playable lie from even the deepest of rough when he finds his own ball.

 

[muttleee]

Turning pro is one thing but I would have thought that playing on the tour is quite another? I think you can turn professional with a handicap of 5 - at least that's what a friend of mine did when he was invited to become an assistant pro by a pro friend of his. He didn't need asking twice!

 

[Parmo]

I broke 60 this week ;-)

 

[Parmo]

Rory McIlroy went pro on +6 didnt he?

 

[stevelockie]

Rory McIlroy went pro on +6 didnt he?

Yep, something ridiculous like +5 or +6.

Paul Lawrie was off 4 when he decided to turn pro, which is quite remarkable!

I did read once that Neil Coles (70's pro), was off 14 when he decided to turn pro!!!!!!

 

[HTL]

You can turn pro with whatever handicap you have, but you cant have your amateur status back for about two years after.

Can’t remember the full details, was a while since I read the book ‘bring me the head of Sergio Garcia’ but the writer turned pro with a mid handicap.

 

[muttleee]

I don't know mate, Poulter was off 2 when he turned pro I believe.

According to Poulter's own site, he had a handicap of 4 when he turned pro!

The PGA of NZ says that to joing their Club Pro training programme, you must:

"Produce evidence of playing ability. You must have an official handicap no higher than 3 for men, 5 for women, and demonstrate your ability in a playing test conducted by the PGA as part of the Aptitude Assessment Day"

An article on the BBC says:

"You do need to have a low handicap of 4 or better to turn pro"

Those are the only references I could find that mentioned specific handicap requirements.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Use to be a guy at my old course (Wimbledon Common) who had a handicap of four. He would only play in roll up competitions and always played with two 70+ year old seniors. Would always ahave a 2 somewhere (and collect a slice of that pot) and often in the top 3.

He would drive the ball miles and not worry if he hit it offline. By the time the other two had played and caught up he would have found his ball no matter where he had hit it. People were growing suspicious that maybe he was cheating

He eventually got caught out as he was "invited" to play in the club championship with the two best players. He shot 95 92 (par 68) and literally chucked his clubs into the car and drove off. Turned out someone followed the group and saw him drop a ball down his trouser leg in the rough and made it known he had been seen.

It was suggested he might like to play at aonther club and we never saw him again. Actually not quite true. He dropped into the shop (I was the assistant at the time ) and was boasting about how he had joined a rich exclusive club and was now down to scratch. I happened to know the assistant there so called hhim after the bloke had gone.

Turned out he had put three cards in and got a handicap of 17!!!!! and there were already doubts over his integrity.

Why bother. Its the only game where you are just cheating yourself but some people have to win or get their handicap down at all costs.

Ho hum

 

[Parmo]

I find playing for fun and relaxing gives me a far better score than when I am not constantly worrying about my score card and personal records.

 

[clubchamp07]

Homer!!!
I have always heard that saying that ur only cheating urself, but I always ask how the hell r u cheating urself whenever ur doing someone else out of prize money or a cup. I think that ur cheating everyone in the club...We have a guy and he has been talked about for years for cheating but we can never catch him, I always ask how can any man woman or child go home after a round of golf and someone at home asks them well how did u do today....How can anyone tell their loved ones a big lie like this...Whenever I arrive home from a game of golf espically a competition my wife always asks me how I had played, thankfully I have never needed to cheat but I have imagined how other's who cheat could answer that question....Not only have they lied to the whole club that they belong to but they have had to lie to their wife, mother, father, girlfriend, boyfriend or what ever they live with. I ask HOW CAN THEY DO IT?
I couldn't

 

[USER1999]

I can lie to my cat, he doesn't mind.

In my swindle there is a bloke that cheats all the time, doesn't even care if he is seen doing it either. Doesn't win much though so if he didn't cheat he would be even worse at golf than he is now. Not sure if he ever puts any cards in either. I would happily not play with him, but it is not up to me, as I like the rest of the swindle (when it isn't raining, or cold, or windy, or hot).

 

[Marko77]

I can put up with those who like to BS about their game, a few white lies don't really harm anyone. I actually find it more amusing when I know their lying or exaggerating the truth.

Cheaters should be named and shamed asap within the clubs. Takes alot of guts to speak out though...