Golfing "Bon mots"

[JohnnyDee]

Has anyone a particular favourite or heard a new one? Please try and keep it to one per post to widen the net.

One I heard recently which did give me a chuckle was when I asked a member in the car park how he played.

"I had more hits than The Beatles out there!" he replied.


It might be old but I'd never heard it before :mmm:

 

[fundy]

An Arsene Wenger, every saw where it went but you!

 

[upsidedown]

In Matchplay " That's within the circle of friendship "

 

[guest100718]

please no.

 

[Jates12]

"Is that a dead sheep?" when you leave a putt short and its Still Ewe :rofl:

 

[Lazkir]

After hitting a ball into deep rough... 'don't bother looking for that, you could wrap it in bacon and even Lassie wouldn't find it!'

 

[Deleted member 23344]

A "Sally Gunnell" ... a shot that's not very pretty, but it runs and runs.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Feed the fish as the white orb sails effortlessly into the lake/pond

 

[Foxholer]

A "Sally Gunnell" ... a shot that's not very pretty, but it runs and runs.

The rather more tasteful alternative to this (or the Liz McColgan/Sonia O'Sullivan for other areas of UK) somewhat derogatory/unkind comment is.....

'The Son-in-Law' - Not quite what you had in mind!

 

[JohnnyDee]

I have a friend who uses one that I fear would invite an immediate lifetime ban from the Forum and could only be repeated at a meet.

 

[fundy]

I have a friend who uses one that I fear would invite an immediate lifetime ban from the Forum and could only be repeated at a meet.

i just went to reply to foxholer and realised it was pre watershed lol

 

[JohnnyDee]

i just went to reply to foxholer and realised it was pre watershed lol

Hadn't heard Foxholer's offering before but one I think that I will use at my first opportunity tomorrow. 😀😀

 

[fundy]

Hadn't heard Foxholer's offering before but one I think that I will use at my first opportunity tomorrow. 😀😀

its the sister in law one that would get in real trouble (isnt it always lol)

 

[williamalex1]

When a putt is left short - it's a Danny McGrain or a Danny Divito , sadly not got the legs.

 

[Dasit]

A Jeremy Corbyn


When the ball goes miles left

 

[Deleted member 18645]

We have a guy at our club who is notorious for writing down the wrong score who is now known as Dianne Abbott.

In America, a tough short putt is known as a "Theo Fleury" - a nasty little five footer. He was a hockey player who made Dennis Wise look like a saint.

 

[Deleted member 18645]

"Shouts fore, scores six, writes down five"

 

[Deleted member 18645]

Two putts of similar length conceded in a match is an "Abba" - gimme gimme.

 

[Capella]

A Pippi Longstocking ... when you play a hole without ever touching the fairway.

 

[Smiffy]

please no.

As much as it pains me to say it, for once I agree with you