Golfing "Bon mots"

JohnnyDee

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Has anyone a particular favourite or heard a new one? Please try and keep it to one per post to widen the net.

One I heard recently which did give me a chuckle was when I asked a member in the car park how he played.

"I had more hits than The Beatles out there!" he replied.


It might be old but I'd never heard it before :mmm:
 
After hitting a ball into deep rough... 'don't bother looking for that, you could wrap it in bacon and even Lassie wouldn't find it!'
 
A "Sally Gunnell" ... a shot that's not very pretty, but it runs and runs.
 
A "Sally Gunnell" ... a shot that's not very pretty, but it runs and runs.

The rather more tasteful alternative to this (or the Liz McColgan/Sonia O'Sullivan for other areas of UK) somewhat derogatory/unkind comment is.....

'The Son-in-Law' - Not quite what you had in mind!
 
We have a guy at our club who is notorious for writing down the wrong score who is now known as Dianne Abbott.

In America, a tough short putt is known as a "Theo Fleury" - a nasty little five footer. He was a hockey player who made Dennis Wise look like a saint.
 
Two putts of similar length conceded in a match is an "Abba" - gimme gimme.
 
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