Frustrations, not always justified.

[Nick_Toye]

Right I'm a handicap 28. I've not yet gone in any comps because of 2 reasons.

1. Confidence
2. I often play with my Dad who is less confident than me

Quite often I find myself lobbing a club in the air, or slamming it back in the bag when I've fluffed it or driven wildly. I am aware of the mental issues, and I try and take a moment to sort my head out. It's usually the same hole that sparks off my frustrations. The par 5 12th, I hate it. I only get 1 shot on it, and quite often I end up not scoring on it.

Well this morning I was doing well, hadn't gone over 6 thru 11 holes, which I was very pleased with. Then the 12th came along and I messed it up. I did however do well on the next 4 holes, although I think on every hole I got annoyed at least once per hole. I finished my round with a nett 65 which is 4 under par for my course. 40 Stableford, and a putting average of 2.0. So why was I frustrated? Have I set the bar too high?

I think it's because I don't really see myself as a 28 handicapper and I've decided a week on Sunday I'm going to go out with the Sunday corner. Missus is away, my Dad can't play, so it's a good time to get into the comps.

I think I was frustrated because I feel I can shoot lower than 90 with consistency. I did enjoy the round regardless of my minor flare ups. Is it just part of golf?

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Yes - I suspect, like me, that you are trying too hard and chasing the lower score. You need to relax and let it happen. If you get angry then it will only make matters work. Personally I go introverted when it starts to go wrong so we have different reactions to bad holes/shots but the reasons are probably the same.

 

[Ads749r]

I think you playing with a different set of people on Sunday will probably make you control the temper as it's embarrassing throwing a tantrum with strangers. This helped me massively this year as I'm quite a hot head but have battled through it this year by getting stuck in playing with randoms as you get to see the way they play the course different to you and deal with bad situations. Give your self the 10 yard walk to curse under your breath after a dodgy shot then just laugh at yourself for getting upset over a hobby. hope you play well.

 

[Nick_Toye]

Yes - I suspect, like me, that you are trying too hard and chasing the lower score. You need to relax and let it happen. If you get angry then it will only make matters work. Personally I go introverted when it starts to go wrong so we have different reactions to bad holes/shots but the reasons are probably the same.

Yeah I'm known as a bit of a ranter on Facebook, and even though that was like 5 years ago when I was in a rubbish marriage, I'm a happier person nowadays, but I'm starting to let silly things creep in and its not just on the golf course. But the golf course is a perfect place for me to go to let things settle and my mind relax. Dropping an 8 iron 2ft from the hole today was a good upper, but then slicing a drive out of bounds outweighed that positive.

My missus thinks I should take up Buddism and learn to meditate. I definitely play better when I feel at peace with myself, and you know what 4 under par isn't a bad result.

 

[Nick_Toye]

I think you playing with a different set of people on Sunday will probably make you control the temper as it's embarrassing throwing a tantrum with strangers. This helped me massively this year as I'm quite a hot head but have battled through it this year by getting stuck in playing with randoms as you get to see the way they play the course different to you and deal with bad situations. Give your self the 10 yard walk to curse under your breath after a dodgy shot then just laugh at yourself for getting upset over a hobby. hope you play well.

I agree, although I don't see this as just a hobby. I'm hoping to get really good at it, but at the same time not putting pressure on myself. I was definitely better today then I was last Sunday.

 

[chillicon]

Golf can be very very frustrating at times and it has a great knack of bringing out the raging beast inside, but speaking for myself things only get worse if I get too annoyed by it.

Maybe on the 12th try some different course management, rescue/iron off the tee etc and try and eliminate your blow out. To be honest if you are only playing stableford, I wouldn't stress on the odd blob as frustrating as it may be. It is when it is in medal comps that it really hurts.

 

[Tongo]

For me, its about realising that at some point in the round you will have a bad patch. And its how quickly you realise that things arent going right and how you react. So if i'm having a bad hole or two, i dont take on any risky shots, concentrate on keeping the ball in play, maybe play an iron off of the tee, that sort of thing. Accept that par is probably out of the equation for a hole or three and ride it out. And, as you say, 4 under is a good performance.

 

[Nick_Toye]

Golf can be very very frustrating at times and it has a great knack of bringing out the raging beast inside, but speaking for myself things only get worse if I get too annoyed by it.

Maybe on the 12th try some different course management, rescue/iron off the tee etc and try and eliminate your blow out. To be honest if you are only playing stableford, I wouldn't stress on the odd blob as frustrating as it may be. It is when it is in medal comps that it really hurts.

That's a good idea with trying a different club. It's a bugger of a hole. The fairway is on a hill going up, and sweeping to the right, so the depth of perception is tough. I think I'm going to go with a 3 Hybrid next time around, or maybe try the fairway wood, then perhaps I may well drop down to the 5 iron. Thanks for the advice.

For me, its about realising that at some point in the round you will have a bad patch. And its how quickly you realise that things arent going right and how you react. So if i'm having a bad hole or two, i dont take on any risky shots, concentrate on keeping the ball in play, maybe play an iron off of the tee, that sort of thing. Accept that par is probably out of the equation for a hole or three and ride it out. And, as you say, 4 under is a good performance.

4 under is good yes, but my concern is that when my handicap is reduced when I go in comps (as my scores do suggest), then getting under par may not happen as frequently. Mind you I guess then I have a different target to achieve.

 

[Hacker Khan]

I agree, although I don't see this as just a hobby. I'm hoping to get really good at it, but at the same time not putting pressure on myself. I was definitely better today then I was last Sunday.

To be honest I'd chill out and be a bit realistic. As from what you've said trying to get appreciably better whilst not putting pressure on yourself sounds a tall order to say the least. You play off 28, nothing wrong with that as I am around there. But therefore it is a hobby, we ain't going to make a living out of the game. Everyone is hoping to get really good at golf but for whatever reasons that sometimes does not happen. Just because you are off 28 does not mean you can't shoot a decent score now and then as all us high handicappers have all done it, and one day it will all click and you'll think you've mostly cracked it. But the next round you'll play like you have never hit a golf ball before. That's golf to some extent.

Also remember this board is probably very unrepresentative of the average golfer and there are plenty of golfers out there who do not get appreciably better.

From what you've said it sounds to me like you are being too hard on yourself and to be honest there is a danger you could end up being the playing partner from hell with club throwing antics. I'd just take the good days/shots when they come and remember them, and not get too worked up when things do go wrong, as they often will at our level. Everyone has sliced a drive OOB during a round, but very few put an 8 iron to 2 feet that often, take the positives and don't dwell on the negatives that much.

If you have some lessons and play/practice sort of regularly then your handicap will come down, but don't think it will happen over night as despite some stories you read on here or in the golf mags, it rarely does, And just enjoy it, as if you are not enjoying your pass time or getting worked up a lot about why you are not better at it than you are, then it ceases to be enjoyable in my book. So why then bother?

 

[chillicon]

Someone else will tell you the exact stat, but you are apparently only supposed to play to your handicap or better 4 or 5 times a year.

 

[Tongo]

That's a good idea with trying a different club. It's a bugger of a hole. The fairway is on a hill going up, and sweeping to the right, so the depth of perception is tough. I think I'm going to go with a 3 Hybrid next time around, or maybe try the fairway wood, then perhaps I may well drop down to the 5 iron. Thanks for the advice.



4 under is good yes, but my concern is that when my handicap is reduced when I go in comps (as my scores do suggest), then getting under par may not happen as frequently. Mind you I guess then I have a different target to achieve.

In truth, you shouldnt be shooting 4 under your handicap regularly anyway. My handicap is always my first target when starting out and if i shoot it, i'm pleased. If i shoot 4 under i'm ecstatic as it doesn't, and shouldn't, happen very often!

 

[bladeplayer]

I agree, although I don't see this as just a hobby. I'm hoping to get really good at it, but at the same time not putting pressure on myself. I was definitely better today then I was last Sunday.

So you hope to make a living at it or something different maybe ?

Not sure about putting pressure on yourself but ur gona have to do something if, and NO offence meant what so ever
(1) you complain you only have one shot on a hole and even with the shot u hardly ever score on it even tho its a par 5
(2) you lack confidence

From reading your post yes i think at this present moment in time you have set the bar too high for yourself , sometimes setting a bar can be good , starting out ,? maybe not so good ..



Im not sure if your a 28 handicapper or not , looking up your past scores and averaging them out will be a clearer picture for you ..

Do you get lessons or work on your game at all , and by work i dont mean just play , do you practice do you try shots , would you throw 4/5 balls down in the rough and c what club/shot gets you out best that sort of thing ..

What are you doing in you goal to get better ?

 

[Nick_Toye]

So you hope to make a living at it or something different maybe ?

Not sure about putting pressure on yourself but ur gona have to do something if, and NO offence meant what so ever
(1) you complain you only have one shot on a hole and even with the shot u hardly ever score on it even tho its a par 5
(2) you lack confidence

From reading your post yes i think at this present moment in time you have set the bar too high for yourself , sometimes setting a bar can be good , starting out ,? maybe not so good ..



Im not sure if your a 28 handicapper or not , looking up your past scores and averaging them out will be a clearer picture for you ..

Do you get lessons or work on your game at all , and by work i dont mean just play , do you practice do you try shots , would you throw 4/5 balls down in the rough and c what club/shot gets you out best that sort of thing ..

What are you doing in you goal to get better ?

No offence taken, happy to learn from other more experienced players.

My average over last 20 is 97, and last 5 is 94. I know I'm better than 28, just haven't gone in the comps yet.

I do have lessons yes, and I do practice. Especially when I go out on my own and I get stuck behind a 4 ball. I practice putting a lot, I do go into the rough and practice pitching in, different scenarios etc..

I try and adopt a better course management to get better. I know where my issues are and I try to address them. Believe it or not I actually go to bed at night and play a round in my head to fall asleep. I'm not the best at sleeping, but I tend to always fall asleep by the 3rd hole.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

I agree, although I don't see this as just a hobby. I'm hoping to get really good at it, but at the same time not putting pressure on myself. I was definitely better today then I was last Sunday.

If you don't see it as a hobby then what is it for you ?

 

[Nick_Toye]

If you don't see it as a hobby then what is it for you ?

I want to compete eventually.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

I want to compete eventually.

What do you mean "compete" ?

Just enter comps at the club or are you talking higher ?

 

[Nick_Toye]

What do you mean "compete" ?

Just enter comps at the club or are you talking higher ?

I'd like to compete at a higher level. I don't have any expectations but I don't want to just 'have a knock' as I hear around the clubhouse.

For some people that's fine, it's a retirement hobby, opportunity to network in a business sense, or keep fit. I see it as more than that for me. I spent best part of a decade in a rut living a life that wasn't really for me, I had a chance to do something different, something I've always wanted to do. So will see where it goes.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

I'd like to compete at a higher level. I don't have any expectations but I don't want to just 'have a knock' as I hear around the clubhouse.

For some people that's fine, it's a retirement hobby, opportunity to network in a business sense, or keep fit. I see it as more than that for me. I spent best part of a decade in a rut living a life that wasn't really for me, I had a chance to do something different, something I've always wanted to do. So will see where it goes.

So what age are you currently and how high are you aiming ?

To want to compete at higher level but then have a worry over one hole because you only get one shot on that hole suggests there is a very long way to go - very long

And you can still treat golf as a hobby and a knock whilst also being competitive

 

[Hacker Khan]

I'd like to compete at a higher level. I don't have any expectations but I don't want to just 'have a knock' as I hear around the clubhouse.

For some people that's fine, it's a retirement hobby, opportunity to network in a business sense, or keep fit. I see it as more than that for me. I spent best part of a decade in a rut living a life that wasn't really for me, I had a chance to do something different, something I've always wanted to do. So will see where it goes.

Me too. So I became a lumberjack, leaping from tree to tree......

 

[Nick_Toye]

So what age are you currently and how high are you aiming ?

To want to compete at higher level but then have a worry over one hole because you only get one shot on that hole suggests there is a very long way to go - very long

And you can still treat golf as a hobby and a knock whilst also being competitive

I'm 39. I wish I was 20 years younger, but then I'm not expecting to get called up to the next Ryder Cup as the Captains Pick, I just want to be really good and maybe do well on the amateur circuit.

Yes I know I have a long long way to go, but I won't give up. Not yet anyway. I'll fix this one hole issue I have next time around, already have a strategy.