Feeling like letting partner down

[drawboy]

Why is it when I play pairs matchplay I always fail to play to my full potential? I cannot relax and just enjoy the golf. I always feel like I'm letting my partner down no matter how well or badly I play. If I win a hole I still feel I should have done better and if I lose one I cannot handle the shame and collapse. What do you think because I'm at the point of never playing matchplay again.

 

[duncan mackie]

If I win a hole I still feel I should have done better and if I lose one I cannot handle the shame and collapse.

this all seems rather focused on you!

however, all is not lost and you should join the other 99% of golfers who blame their partner for everything...

 

[the hammer]

Some of the older generation at our place are good with this, on the first tee they announce,

NO APOLOGIES.

 

[sev112]

Some of the older generation at our place are good with this, on the first tee they announce,

NO APOLOGIES.

/\. THIS

Is how teams perform
You can discuss it afterwards, but in the middle of competition no need for "sorry"
Golf is a game of imperfection - statistically we would have to say sorry once on each hole to each other - it is self defeating
Accept the statistical errors that must happen and enjoy your time playing.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Speak to Hawkeye if you think you've got it bad Poor bloke carrying me

 

[Evesdad]

Any form of this as in 4bbb etc we always call it the sorry comp! Apart from the last one I've played pretty well in these recently. As a high hcper there's always a couple of holes I completely mess up. It's to be accepted. Just remember it's not all about your performance your partner is there too.

 

[louise_a]

I played in the regional final of a foursomes yesterday and played rubbish, I just felt so terrible that I was letting my partner down. We always say no apologies, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

 

[drawboy]

I played in the regional final of a foursomes yesterday and played rubbish, I just felt so terrible that I was letting my partner down. We always say no apologies, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

This is me exactly, no matter what is said I just feel horrible all the way round and regardless of how I perform as said earlier it IS all focussed on me that is why I feel so bad win or lose

 

[duncan mackie]

This is me exactly, no matter what is said I just feel horrible all the way round and regardless of how I perform as said earlier it IS all focussed on me that is why I feel so bad win or lose

it's good to see that you have the full picture - it's really only a small step to appreciating that the only thing that matters is what the score was when you walk of the last green as a pair.

there's no doubt that playing with a regular partner helps because you don't need to remind him of what you can do; you just need to do your best etc

the really really good news is that this overall thinking is probably holding you back in your own performance because you will not be happy (with yourself) because you are letting yourself down by under performing (when you do, and we all do from time to time.

it's not about relaxing the point of not caring what happens; it's about focusing on your nest performance rather than your last - loads of time to look back when at the bar afterwards!

good luck

 

[mpluis]

when you take your stance its to late to think about your swing or something like this.

when you start the comp, you need all your focus on that do do well.

 

[Slab]

Drawboy I know where you're coming from, I often feel let down by my playing partners and always amazed they don't somehow contribute more to the team score!

 

[USER1999]

What ever happened to the fun?

It's a hobby. It's meant to be enjoyable.

That said, I have a game on Sunday where there is £1200 up for grabs. I've got 3 days to find some form, or my partner will be pretty upset with me!

 

[Hobbit]

Nowt like heaping pressure on yourself to make the game even harder!!

I know I'll make mistakes, and I know my playing partner will make mistakes. I hope that we don't blob the same holes. But we probably will. On the odd day we don't, we'll probably be in with a chance.

Sounds like you need to lower your expectations, and just enjoy the company/course/day.

 

[chris661]

Why is it when I play pairs matchplay I always fail to play to my full potential? I cannot relax and just enjoy the golf. I always feel like I'm letting my partner down no matter how well or badly I play. If I win a hole I still feel I should have done better and if I lose one I cannot handle the shame and collapse. What do you think because I'm at the point of never playing matchplay again.

If you feel like that its probably best to not play pairs stuff. It is a a game we play for fun and if you don't enjoy an aspect of it don't do it.

 

[Maninblack4612]

You do your best, you try on every shot, there's nothing to apologise for. It never bothers me, I've never played a round where my partner hasn't made a few mistakes as well. It's a game, you're supposed to enjoy it!

 

[davidy233]

I love foursomes match play - if I hit a bad shot it's not me who has to hit the next one - never apologise and never feel you are letting your partner down

 

[StrangelyBrown]

Some of the older generation at our place are good with this, on the first tee they announce,

NO APOLOGIES.

Yip, this is how I go about a pairs match. No one means to hit a bad shot.

 

[DaveM]

The last one I played I was rubbish. Partner carried me thewhole way. But on the 18 he messed up. Leaving me with a 20foot putter to win the match. Which I got. Guess what I'm saying is just one shot can be enough.

 

[Deano23]

The question you need to ask yourself is "how do I make this a strength rather than a weakness?" There is always a reframe that can change perspective. What might it be?

 

[ArnoldArmChewer]

Some of the older generation at our place are good with this, on the first tee they announce,

NO APOLOGIES.

Quite right, tennis or golf, no apologies during the game, save them for after by which time you can blame your partner.