Famous quotes you love and/or use

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Name a couple of quotes you love and/or use or just think they are very smart and I want to share...........

I'll start..........

"I don't want to belong to any club who would have me as a member"
Groucho Marx (quite appropriate for a golf forum)

"I'll never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception"
Groucho Marx- class

"Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly"
Mae West

 

[chrisd]

"knob"


Smiffy

 

[Mick47]

"whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right" Henry Ford.

"If you want something doing ask a busy man" Chinese proverb.

 

[Whereditgo]

"If a jobs worth doing, it's worth doing twice" - Unknown

To be used primarily after a monumental cock up!

 

[richart]

Fore

 

[Achilles]

“Right now, everything is going wrong for me - if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb!” Ian Holloway (one of his many moments of genius, but my personal favourite)

 

[PhilTheFragger]

" as much use as a One Legged Man In An Arse Kicking Contest"

" Nobody Likes To See That"

" What did you say Your Handicap was???"

" I laughed until I stopped"

" Why Couldn't You Do It Like That First Time"

"That Fourball's Slower Than A Dead Sea Slug"

" Not Another Feckin Ladies Match"

Each one A Timeless Classic, Bought to you by...

Random Fragger Productions Inc

 

[Mick47]

"knob"


Smiffy

oh if we're at that level how about:

"I was going to take the piss but I see nature beat me to it"

 

[hangover]

"One Evertonian is worth 20 Liverpudlians"

Brian Labone

 

[chrisd]

"everyone has a right to be ugly but that really is abuse"

"if brains were dynamite she wouldn't have enough to blow her hat off"

"if brains were chocolate she couldn't fill a smartee"

"I've seen better legs on a table"



Chris

 

[NWJocko]

"She's got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle"

"That's what i like about you. F*ck all"

"What the f*ck was that?" Usually one of my playing partners!

 

[Yerman]

As welcome as a fart in a space suit.
As far fetched as a bucket of water from china.
As much use as a chocolate teapot.
... guess the forumer

and a persoanl favourite that takes too much explaining:
"Who's like you since leather-arse died"

 

[Smiffy]

After spending 5 hours on a golf course with a complete tit....

"Thanks. You've entertained me for minutes"

 

[drawboy]

There's more life in a tramps vest.
And my all time favorite from Young Frankenstien: "It's at times like these I wished I'd listened to my father". "Why,what did he say"?
"I don't know...I wasn't listening"!
Get's them every time.

 

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Thanks to those who entered into the spirit of the thread

 

[StrangelyBrown]

Of an amply chested lady: -

"It's like a dead heat in a Zeppelin race".

Or, from one of my heroes

"If in doubt, flat out" - Colin McRae

Edit to add: - one I use a lot "lefty loosey, rightie tighty" as I forget which way screw and unscrews things

 

[Snelly]

One that my grandad used to say in response to stupidity from someone "Just goes to show, you can't educate shi*e."

Of someone who is ugly - they have got a face like a dropped pie.

 

[StrangelyBrown]

On a similar tack to Snelly's, another that I use is "you can't polish a turd but you can roll one in glitter".

 

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erm it was FAMOUS quotes not ones you heard next doors grandad say 14 times

and before anyone says it I mean Famous worldwide not famous Doon ma street

 

[znuffzz]

"awe and respect are two different things" oli reed