Dementia Awareness

RichA

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Rich it’s tough, she talks to him in an horrible manner. That don’t half set him off. FIL had a right go a month or so ago at his son in law, Effing and blinding in the street. Raising his fists. Me Bro in law was upset and Livid. 2 weeks ago in-laws had a meeting with a Shrink. Missis T who was there mentioned FILs temper. MIL played it down, Missis T mentioned the spat in the street. MIL said “ I don’t know why son in law was upset it was nothing”. missis T was seething. If bro in law finds out what she has said he will go ballistic.
I think she would be happy to see him in a home but she does not want to make that decision.
It's tough brother. All I can do is sympathise and keep telling our story. Every case is different, but hopefully there are bits that resonate with your situation. I have the benefit of hindsight - mum died nearly 3 years ago now.
Nobody really understands how it is for the "surviving" partner until afterwards. On my weekly visits, dad used to escape for the day - still cycling in his mid-80s. I'd look after mum. She'd ask me whose son I was - she assumed I was some random family friend's son. She'd ask when her father was getting back. On advice from a friend, I learned to just "jolly her along", not bursting her bubble or upsetting her.
When dad got back it would continue, but when she suggested he was her father, his response would be, "Of course I'm not your father - he's been dead for 40 years." He would be impatient with her or just ignore her at times.
I'd ask him why he couldn't show a little more compassion and he said that in 60+ years of marriage he'd never lied to her - he wasn't going to start now.
When I stayed overnight, I'd witness the effects of her nightmares. Monsters attacking her. When she woke, she saw dad as one of the monsters. She hated him and was terrified of him. I can't imagine the toll that took. He later told me that it had been happening a couple of times a week for a couple of years.
After mum died, dad had a brain haemorrhage that resembled a stroke. MRI showed that it was actually an old, untreated injury that high blood pressure had caused to pop open. The doctor asked if dad had had a previous injury - "you must have known about it. It would have been a hell of a knock."
He admitted that a year or so earlier, mum had gone through a phase of attacking him. On one occasion she hit him over the head so hard with a saucepan that he was knocked out. He never told anyone. He was embarrassed and ashamed.
Then mum got more sick with other stuff. He was embarrassed and ashamed for not providing effective medical care.
Then mum went into hospital and, later, nursing care. He was embarrassed and ashamed for breaking their pact that neither would ever put the other into a home.

I guess I'm suggesting that while we're all focusing on the person with dementia, we lose sight of the fact that the partner is just as much of a victim of it - possibly even more so. But being of "that generation", they probably won't ask for or accept the help, out of shame and embarrassment.
 

Tashyboy

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It's tough brother. All I can do is sympathise and keep telling our story. Every case is different, but hopefully there are bits that resonate with your situation. I have the benefit of hindsight - mum died nearly 3 years ago now.
Nobody really understands how it is for the "surviving" partner until afterwards. On my weekly visits, dad used to escape for the day - still cycling in his mid-80s. I'd look after mum. She'd ask me whose son I was - she assumed I was some random family friend's son. She'd ask when her father was getting back. On advice from a friend, I learned to just "jolly her along", not bursting her bubble or upsetting her.
When dad got back it would continue, but when she suggested he was her father, his response would be, "Of course I'm not your father - he's been dead for 40 years." He would be impatient with her or just ignore her at times.
I'd ask him why he couldn't show a little more compassion and he said that in 60+ years of marriage he'd never lied to her - he wasn't going to start now.
When I stayed overnight, I'd witness the effects of her nightmares. Monsters attacking her. When she woke, she saw dad as one of the monsters. She hated him and was terrified of him. I can't imagine the toll that took. He later told me that it had been happening a couple of times a week for a couple of years.
After mum died, dad had a brain haemorrhage that resembled a stroke. MRI showed that it was actually an old, untreated injury that high blood pressure had caused to pop open. The doctor asked if dad had had a previous injury - "you must have known about it. It would have been a hell of a knock."
He admitted that a year or so earlier, mum had gone through a phase of attacking him. On one occasion she hit him over the head so hard with a saucepan that he was knocked out. He never told anyone. He was embarrassed and ashamed.
Then mum got more sick with other stuff. He was embarrassed and ashamed for not providing effective medical care.
Then mum went into hospital and, later, nursing care. He was embarrassed and ashamed for breaking their pact that neither would ever put the other into a home.

I guess I'm suggesting that while we're all focusing on the person with dementia, we lose sight of the fact that the partner is just as much of a victim of it - possibly even more so. But being of "that generation", they probably won't ask for or accept the help, out of shame and embarrassment.
All the mother in law keeps asking for is her “ old husband back”. I think she knows it will not happen. Me and Missis T have been round a few times and just sat and nattered in the garden. Last time we had a few beers, reluctantly. I say that coz am not an afternoon drinker. But for an hour and a half FIL was ” out of the fog” and back to his old self. MIL was laughing and all was well. On the way home I mentioned to Missis Tash that is all that MIL wants.
Ave got to say that EE have been fantastic in putting him onto my phone contract, he was on PAYG, and it was starting to cost him a fortune. It is his lifeline. He is never off it.
 

RichA

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Just keep remembering that the 24/7 care and company your MiL is providing would involve a team of 5 trained care assistants working 8 hour shifts and costing over £100,000 a year. For all the help you're giving her, she probably still really needs a proper break. I wish I'd looked harder into respite care a few years ago.
 
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Lord Tyrion

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Every case is individual but it is interesting how many have distinct similarities. We are at a similar point to @Tashyboy right now, maybe marginally slightly further advanced but not by much. I smiled at the tablets comment. This was a major issue for us, still is. He just leaves her to take them. She might, she might not, she might take a weeks worth in one go, she might flush them. My wife found them on the carpet numerous times. Drove us nuts.

We finally managed to convince my FiL to put MiL into respite last week. He found 100 reasons not to but ultimately accepted it. He went to visit and came back saying it was useless and not for her. 'Why?' was the question asked. 'Well I asked her all of these questinos and she couldn't answer any of them. She just looked at me blankly' She has advanced dementia :rolleyes:. 5 or so years into this and he has still not learned a single thing. Anyway, my wife went in to visit her. She came back beaming. He mum was full of smiles, she was clean, her clothes were clean, she was alert, the careers showed her the artwork they had done together, pointed out the jobs around the home she had helped with (MiL was a profilic house cleaner in the day, washer up etc). MiL said nothing about wanting to leave, showed none of her usual anxiety triggers. She was happy, therefore my wife was happy. She was picked up on Friday, all smiles when my wife arrived. The week could not have gone better.

Second night back and MiL gets up in the night, climbs into the bath, no water thankfully, but can't get out. FiL gets a neighbour to come around to help get her out. He has finally accepted that she needs to go in to a home full time now. He is baulking at the cost, despite all of the explanations about what they can take, when it stops etc. He has the money but he wants to be the richest man in the graveyard. My wife is now negotiating with him as to which home she goes into and when. Ideally it will be the one that worked so well for respite and within the next week or so. This is not knee jerk, it was necessary 12 months ago but it has taken this long to get the FiL to see sense. All of the recent posts about problems of partners ticked every box for what we have been through.

When she goes in it will be a huge weight lifted. She will be looked after properly and be safe for the first time in a long time. FiL will be able to resume his life without this pulling him down. Their kids, my wife etc, will be less tense and worried.

We checked out various homes, all were happy to open their doors, and have gone for the one that ticked the boxes for us / her. Anyone looking, don't be afraid to check out as many as you want. You can always move your relative but ideally they will settle in home number 1 and life becomes easier. And breathe..........
 

oxymoron

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Every case is individual but it is interesting how many have distinct similarities. We are at a similar point to @Tashyboy right now, maybe marginally slightly further advanced but not by much. I smiled at the tablets comment. This was a major issue for us, still is. He just leaves her to take them. She might, she might not, she might take a weeks worth in one go, she might flush them. My wife found them on the carpet numerous times. Drove us nuts.

We finally managed to convince my FiL to put MiL into respite last week. He found 100 reasons not to but ultimately accepted it. He went to visit and came back saying it was useless and not for her. 'Why?' was the question asked. 'Well I asked her all of these questinos and she couldn't answer any of them. She just looked at me blankly' She has advanced dementia :rolleyes:. 5 or so years into this and he has still not learned a single thing. Anyway, my wife went in to visit her. She came back beaming. He mum was full of smiles, she was clean, her clothes were clean, she was alert, the careers showed her the artwork they had done together, pointed out the jobs around the home she had helped with (MiL was a profilic house cleaner in the day, washer up etc). MiL said nothing about wanting to leave, showed none of her usual anxiety triggers. She was happy, therefore my wife was happy. She was picked up on Friday, all smiles when my wife arrived. The week could not have gone better.

Second night back and MiL gets up in the night, climbs into the bath, no water thankfully, but can't get out. FiL gets a neighbour to come around to help get her out. He has finally accepted that she needs to go in to a home full time now. He is baulking at the cost, despite all of the explanations about what they can take, when it stops etc. He has the money but he wants to be the richest man in the graveyard. My wife is now negotiating with him as to which home she goes into and when. Ideally it will be the one that worked so well for respite and within the next week or so. This is not knee jerk, it was necessary 12 months ago but it has taken this long to get the FiL to see sense. All of the recent posts about problems of partners ticked every box for what we have been through.

When she goes in it will be a huge weight lifted. She will be looked after properly and be safe for the first time in a long time. FiL will be able to resume his life without this pulling him down. Their kids, my wife etc, will be less tense and worried.

We checked out various homes, all were happy to open their doors, and have gone for the one that ticked the boxes for us / her. Anyone looking, don't be afraid to check out as many as you want. You can always move your relative but ideally they will settle in home number 1 and life becomes easier. And breathe..........
LT this is brilliant , she probably had a greater effect on your wife than you realize , it is such a weight off when you get to see the improvements on their life a good care home can provide .
Good luck in the future , it seems you now have the FIL onboard so hopefully you will have a bit brighter future .
 

Robster59

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Like many others I am so grateful for this thread and the support of the people on it. It’s easy to think you’re alone but I have found this to be very cathartic and share the experience and advice with other members of the forum. For that I have to give my thanks to everyone involved. It is greatly appreciated.

The Father in Law continues to slowly deteriorate. Well, I say slowly, I have seen a real change over the last few weeks. I now have to assist him getting dressed in the morning and evening, check he has done everything after going to the toilet and constantly reminding him of the need to wash his hands. If he doesn’t get his pad right then he has an accident and I have to sort that out. I take on as much as I can as it is stressing my missus out to the nth degree, but it is very disruptive to my work as well. Of course, there are certain things I can do that he couldn’t / wouldn’t ask his daughter to do. I reckon it takes at least an hour out of my work day each day, not including lunch, and on top of that, popping in to check he’s OK and also the times when something happens and he shouts on me to help. It’s also very disruptive mentally as it really has an impact on concentration and mental flow.

At the end of the day, your life isn't your own. You can't plan to go anywhere or be out of the house too long as you worry about what might happen to him on his home. So whatever you do revolves around the person you are caring for. Sorry if that sounds selfish.

Unlike others, we’re lucky that he’s not aggressive. In fact, quite the opposite, he has mellowed with his dementia. He is so reliant on us that he just takes what we say as the thing to do. His main grumble is when I take him out for his daily walk around our crescent but we have to keep him moving. Maybe a cattle prod is in order? :devilish:

So we know he needs 24/7 care and we have found what appears to be a suitable nursing home. The missus is going into the home on Friday to complete the forms so we could be looking at a matter of weeks. I initially felt really guilty about this but the more I see how he is deteriorating, the more I realise it will be best for him. The right people to care for him, stimulation, people to talk to.

We are having issues with the Social Worker who wants to carry out an assessment on his own with him. And he wants to tell him that he’s being assessed to see if he needs to go into a home. We’re really against that as we haven’t told the FiL that he is going into a home yet due to all the stress it would cause everyone. We think that basically he is looking at home care because it’s a cheaper option for them. The reality is that the FiL needed home care a year ago but we have avoided it because of Covid. We’re well past that point now. He doesn’t own his own home, he moved in with us 20 years ago.

On the positive side, we are now ordering his pads and night underwear online so that’s one less embarrassing shopping moment. I just hope it comes in a plain cardboard box! :oops::ROFLMAO:

Once he’s in then the plan is to sell the house and move into something smaller. We can then hopefully, for the first time since we’ve been together, have the house with just the two of us. Not sure if that will make or break us mind you! ;):eek:
 
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clubchamp98

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It's tough brother. All I can do is sympathise and keep telling our story. Every case is different, but hopefully there are bits that resonate with your situation. I have the benefit of hindsight - mum died nearly 3 years ago now.
Nobody really understands how it is for the "surviving" partner until afterwards. On my weekly visits, dad used to escape for the day - still cycling in his mid-80s. I'd look after mum. She'd ask me whose son I was - she assumed I was some random family friend's son. She'd ask when her father was getting back. On advice from a friend, I learned to just "jolly her along", not bursting her bubble or upsetting her.
When dad got back it would continue, but when she suggested he was her father, his response would be, "Of course I'm not your father - he's been dead for 40 years." He would be impatient with her or just ignore her at times.
I'd ask him why he couldn't show a little more compassion and he said that in 60+ years of marriage he'd never lied to her - he wasn't going to start now.
When I stayed overnight, I'd witness the effects of her nightmares. Monsters attacking her. When she woke, she saw dad as one of the monsters. She hated him and was terrified of him. I can't imagine the toll that took. He later told me that it had been happening a couple of times a week for a couple of years.
After mum died, dad had a brain haemorrhage that resembled a stroke. MRI showed that it was actually an old, untreated injury that high blood pressure had caused to pop open. The doctor asked if dad had had a previous injury - "you must have known about it. It would have been a hell of a knock."
He admitted that a year or so earlier, mum had gone through a phase of attacking him. On one occasion she hit him over the head so hard with a saucepan that he was knocked out. He never told anyone. He was embarrassed and ashamed.
Then mum got more sick with other stuff. He was embarrassed and ashamed for not providing effective medical care.
Then mum went into hospital and, later, nursing care. He was embarrassed and ashamed for breaking their pact that neither would ever put the other into a home.

I guess I'm suggesting that while we're all focusing on the person with dementia, we lose sight of the fact that the partner is just as much of a victim of it - possibly even more so. But being of "that generation", they probably won't ask for or accept the help, out of shame and embarrassment.
Very good post .
Sums up a lot my dad went through.
He had to hide all the knives, as my mild mannered mum threatened him every day.
What a horrible time for him. And others in this place.
 

clubchamp98

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Every case is individual but it is interesting how many have distinct similarities. We are at a similar point to @Tashyboy right now, maybe marginally slightly further advanced but not by much. I smiled at the tablets comment. This was a major issue for us, still is. He just leaves her to take them. She might, she might not, she might take a weeks worth in one go, she might flush them. My wife found them on the carpet numerous times. Drove us nuts.

We finally managed to convince my FiL to put MiL into respite last week. He found 100 reasons not to but ultimately accepted it. He went to visit and came back saying it was useless and not for her. 'Why?' was the question asked. 'Well I asked her all of these questinos and she couldn't answer any of them. She just looked at me blankly' She has advanced dementia :rolleyes:. 5 or so years into this and he has still not learned a single thing. Anyway, my wife went in to visit her. She came back beaming. He mum was full of smiles, she was clean, her clothes were clean, she was alert, the careers showed her the artwork they had done together, pointed out the jobs around the home she had helped with (MiL was a profilic house cleaner in the day, washer up etc). MiL said nothing about wanting to leave, showed none of her usual anxiety triggers. She was happy, therefore my wife was happy. She was picked up on Friday, all smiles when my wife arrived. The week could not have gone better.

Second night back and MiL gets up in the night, climbs into the bath, no water thankfully, but can't get out. FiL gets a neighbour to come around to help get her out. He has finally accepted that she needs to go in to a home full time now. He is baulking at the cost, despite all of the explanations about what they can take, when it stops etc. He has the money but he wants to be the richest man in the graveyard. My wife is now negotiating with him as to which home she goes into and when. Ideally it will be the one that worked so well for respite and within the next week or so. This is not knee jerk, it was necessary 12 months ago but it has taken this long to get the FiL to see sense. All of the recent posts about problems of partners ticked every box for what we have been through.

When she goes in it will be a huge weight lifted. She will be looked after properly and be safe for the first time in a long time. FiL will be able to resume his life without this pulling him down. Their kids, my wife etc, will be less tense and worried.

We checked out various homes, all were happy to open their doors, and have gone for the one that ticked the boxes for us / her. Anyone looking, don't be afraid to check out as many as you want. You can always move your relative but ideally they will settle in home number 1 and life becomes easier. And breathe..........
Nice post and things seem to be going better.
Just one word of caution from me to you.
When my mum died she had dementia and my dad was her full time carer.
He was the main problem with her care etc.
Long story short.
It’s a massive shock when one goes into a home and your FIL might seem ok at first but the lonely ness of a empty house and filling his day will be lost.
You need to make sure he has regular contact as much as possible to make sure his transgression to being alone is monitored.
It’s the one thing my dad admitted to me how lonely he was when his front door was shut.
 
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Lord Tyrion

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Nice post and things seem to be going better.
Just one word of caution from me to you.
When my mum died she had dementia and my dad was her full time carer.
He was the main problem with her care etc.
Long story short.
It’s a massive shock when one goes into a home and your FIL might seem ok at first but the lonely ness of a empty house and filling his day will be lost.
You need to make sure he has regular contact as much as possible to make sure his transgression to being alone is monitored.
It’s the one thing my dad admitted to me how lonely he was when his front door was shut.
It's a very good point and one that we are conscious of. He is a tough person to like at times but my wife and I have had this discussion already and we will be putting smiles on our faces and involve him in things in addition to what he would normally have done.
 
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Lord Tyrion

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A big step forward but a slightly odd point. MiL is booked to go in full time from 1st June. It's been a battle but we are nearly there. It will be real weight off when she finally goes in. She has been falling recently, not good.

When she went in for respite she had to take a pcr test and then had free reign aroundthe home. Going in full time she will have to isolate for 14 days when she goes in. I don't understand the difference and why?
 

clubchamp98

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A big step forward but a slightly odd point. MiL is booked to go in full time from 1st June. It's been a battle but we are nearly there. It will be real weight off when she finally goes in. She has been falling recently, not good.

When she went in for respite she had to take a pcr test and then had free reign aroundthe home. Going in full time she will have to isolate for 14 days when she goes in. I don't understand the difference and why?
That sounds strange.
And illogical.
 

Tashyboy

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A big step forward but a slightly odd point. MiL is booked to go in full time from 1st June. It's been a battle but we are nearly there. It will be real weight off when she finally goes in. She has been falling recently, not good.

When she went in for respite she had to take a pcr test and then had free reign aroundthe home. Going in full time she will have to isolate for 14 days when she goes in. I don't understand the difference and why?
Talking to the expert ( Missis Tash ) who called the Covid problems in nursing homes before it happened and she cannot for the life of her understand why.
 

Piece

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My Dad is being discharged from hospital tomorrow. He is going direct to a local home as the medical and care needs have agreed, thankfully, that going home isn't viable for him or my Mum. She is relieved on one hand but crippled with emotional guilt on the other. I am relieved for all.

Now the next step in the journey is around duration of stay and funding. I think he's there for a fully paid six weeks if I understand correct, with a figure of £1,400 a week quoted, to finally assess his needs and care package. As this is new for us with no experience, I'm after any guidance from you guys about what are the options after the six weeks. I guess they means test my Dad's income to see if he can pay all, most, little or none of his care going forward. He is not well off at all, thus it should be little or none. But I don't know what the NHS or whoever has the purse-strings will be able to pay or what's their set limit. I have it in my head they will pay a set percentage/amount (e.g. £1000), then the rest of the care comes out of his pension, savings, benefits, etc.?

Anyone who has an info, I would appreciate it. I just want to ensure that we cover all the bases and that we are not missing out on any entitlement or support to make the process easier. There's lots of resources and info about; it's just piecing it all together to get the right informed outcome. The Beacon website has been very valuable.

Cheers
An update on our side.

Dad is now just over 2.5 weeks into his new care home. He is there for six weeks in total, then is extremely likely to stay there, with the question of who is funding what. That will be decided in the next few weeks. Mum and my sister have visited and are pleased with the place and he seems happy there. He's enjoying the female attention ;). I haven't visited yet due to work and home commitments. Overall, things are good and importantly I feel my Mum is living a better life. She still has to go through the mental "transformation" of Dad not ever coming home, but outwardly, I've seen snippets of her old self - as someone else has put above, just don't know what is happening behind the closed door at home though. For other family members, it has taken the pressure off immensely knowing that he is ok and well looked after, and that my Mum is better because of it. Let's see what the next few weeks bring.
 

Tashyboy

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Missis T has had 5 phone calls today from her dad. He don’t recognise his wife. The day has not been helped by the fact that someone has broken into his caravan ( and 9 others last night) Looking to rob them. Fortunately we emptied it a couple of weeks ago ready for selling. He has said he desperately needs help, he needs to see someone.It was pointed out he has been seeing someone. In fact he has seen several people. He cannot remember.
 

Robster59

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An update. Sorry if it seems a bit long but thought to get it all out in the one post.

We took the Father in Law into the Care Home on Saturday. That wasn't easy. We didn't tell him about it till Thursday and then the head of the Care Home came to talk to him on the Friday to explain more about the home. He wasn't happy at first, understandably, but I think there was almost an acceptance. So my missus helped him with his packing, and we took him over on Saturday afternoon (I cancelled my golf as a result, the ultimate sacrifice!). We couldn't take him inside due to Covid restrictions so had to drop him at the door. We checked up later in the afternoon to see how he was getting on, and they said he was settling in OK. We did get a call from the home on Saturday evening as he wanted to know when we were coming around, and he needed the call to settle down.
We kept in contact with the home over the weekend and they said he was fine, had got into a routine, made a couple of friends so they would spend their time chatting (the good thing about dementia is you can talk all you like one day, come back the next day having forgotten it all and start all over again :giggle:). The home recommended we keep away so he could settle in.
We went round to see him today not know exactly what would be the situation with him but on the whole he seemed to be doing well. He moaned about the fact that he used to be active, and now he's there. We pointed out to him that for the last 18 months he had just been in a room watching TV and he was meeting a lot more people and getting more interaction which he grudgingly admitted to. He did say the staff were great and he now hardly spends any time in his room. He gets himself up ready for breakfast by 8:30 and overall seems to have accepted that this is where he will be living from now on.
One thing that did upset my other half was he kept asking how Alan was. When we asked who he meant by Alan, it turns out he meant his Grandson Geoff. Now his grandson is the apple of his eye so that did upset her but she had to hold it in till he went back indoors. I did say that taking a separate look at him now, you realise his condition. When you're tied up in the moment, you know the issues as you have to deal with them. But then seeing the nurse come out to look after him and take him back in, it hit home a little more.
We were there about half an hour, and then we had to go as they were having a barbecue. Tomorrow they're having a piper, and they seem to have all sorts of activities to keep them stimulated.
On a slightly sad side note, I was sat outside chatting to him and they brought out another patient who I recognised as a former member and past captain of my club. It shocked me a little. I knew he had dementia issues, but I didn't know he was also staying there. And also to see the wives and husbands of the patients who visit to meet the person they knew but isn't there anymore.
All-in-all, seeing him there now it just confirms we have made the right decision. He's in a place where he gets 24/7 care and more stimulation than we could ever have provided. Guilt is still there from Mrs Robster but that's understandable. But in reality, I think this will be so much better for him than being stuck in on his own.
 
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RichA

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You and your family will be your only critics. Don't judge yourselves harshly - your actions should prove to be vastly life improving for your father-in-law and all of you.
It's hard, but as long as you're allowed to visit, work hard to keep it jolly. Plan what you'll do, talk about, take with you. Don't be afraid to put some music on and just be with him, being uplifting.
And when you leave, just go to the loo or the shop and don't come back. A hug and a goodbye will make it harder.
In my limited experience, dementia sufferers moods last way beyond their memory of why they are in that mood, be it good or bad.
 

Robster59

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Thanks everyone.
With that big long tome I wrote, I forgot to add that after we dropped him off we went to sit outside a café for something to eat and drink. It was the first time since I can't remember when that we have not had to be looking at our watches and worry about getting back. Our time is once again our own. We will be moving out of this house now as it's just too big for us so after a couple of days of chilling we have started the big clear-out.
You do get conditioned to the caring though. You wake up at the same time that I used to wake up to give him his pills. You still look if you hear a noise from his granny flat. You still think "oh it's time to get Bill's breakfast/lunch/tea".
And now all the legal stuff starts. I've just cancelled his own phone line as he wanted the broadband for BT Sport, but most of the rest is sitting with my other half as she has the power of attorney. She has to sort out the legal and money side, arrange payments to the care home (that's about £1200 a week), fight with the tosser on social services who thinks we should have put in a home care package for him (he's well beyond that as he needs someone looking after him 24/7, not just popping in a few times a day). We, and the care home manager, think he's just doing all this to reduce the amount he has to give out in support. He's not made any friends with use, the care home or his doctor. But we'll sort it.
So it's not all over yet, but we're now entering a different chapter.
 
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