Captainron
Big Hitting, South African Sweary Person
Played at Woodhall Spa with LincolnQuaker and two others on Saturday. Course was in rude health considering the weather we have had over the past month. I was playing okay when we reached the 13th. I leaked my drive right into the trees and was advised to take a provisional which ended up on the fairway.
Head off to look for the ball and a rambler emerges from the trees and says that my ball is on the patH leading through the trees. Lucky break! Chip it out and ask a playing partner, Jeff to throw me my provisional and that's when it happened.
His throw is a bit weak and the ball is dribbling its way towards me. I plant the left foot to bend down and pick it up forgetting that the area is pretty damp. My foot slips out from underneath me and I do the splits. Being the equivalent of a medium sized hippo crossed with a giraffe means that the trousers I am wearing can't handle the forces being exerted on them and the stitching along the seams around my arse and inside leg expire.
My entire backside and left leg are now on show.
Glynn is obviously concerned for my wellbeing and does his best to help the situation by nearly falling over with laughter. Being pragmatic, I play the rest of the hole with an envigirating breeze circulating around my nether regions and the laughter of my companions ringing in my ears.
My blushes are saved by the fourth member of our group who produces a pair of waterproof trousers which I can wear over my ripped trousers. I put them on and the laughter doubles. He's about 5"8' tall and these waterproofs would have to get a bus to reach my ankles!
Played the last 5 holes looking like an absolute chop!
Enjoyable day though
Head off to look for the ball and a rambler emerges from the trees and says that my ball is on the patH leading through the trees. Lucky break! Chip it out and ask a playing partner, Jeff to throw me my provisional and that's when it happened.
His throw is a bit weak and the ball is dribbling its way towards me. I plant the left foot to bend down and pick it up forgetting that the area is pretty damp. My foot slips out from underneath me and I do the splits. Being the equivalent of a medium sized hippo crossed with a giraffe means that the trousers I am wearing can't handle the forces being exerted on them and the stitching along the seams around my arse and inside leg expire.
My entire backside and left leg are now on show.
Glynn is obviously concerned for my wellbeing and does his best to help the situation by nearly falling over with laughter. Being pragmatic, I play the rest of the hole with an envigirating breeze circulating around my nether regions and the laughter of my companions ringing in my ears.
My blushes are saved by the fourth member of our group who produces a pair of waterproof trousers which I can wear over my ripped trousers. I put them on and the laughter doubles. He's about 5"8' tall and these waterproofs would have to get a bus to reach my ankles!
Played the last 5 holes looking like an absolute chop!
Enjoyable day though
