Cheer me up guys!

[PhilTheFragger]

So
I've had the operation and feeling very sore and a bit fed up.
All the political stuff is a big downer,
So
Cheer me and everyone else up, jokes, funny stories anything

Thanks or I'll show you a pic of my catheter

 

[Lord Tyrion]

You had the operation and woke up afterwards. That's a great start 😁.

Don't make stuff too funny, you don't want those stitches tearing.

 

[chrisd]

Why not just catch up on SILH'S Brexit thread - does it for me Phil !

 

[PhilTheFragger]

Why not just catch up on SILH'S Brexit thread - does it for me Phil !

I started to get suicidal thoughts so stopped

 

[moogie]

Good news
You've not lost any money to your brother on the golf course this week.....

 

[Paperboy]

Your probably still a better golfer then me

 

[Hobbit]

One positive is you've lost weight!

From breakfast yesterday. My beautiful (blonde) wife takes a glass out of the cupboard and then fills it with cornflakes..... she then stares at the glass for 10 secs, and says "I've got that wrong haven't I?" I couldn't answer for laughing!

 

[ManinBlack]

P. S. I could share some great jokes with you but you wouldn't see a lot of me on the Forum after that.

 

[anotherdouble]

Good to hear things on the up phil. Can't type for too long as got to go to work as a security officer at a Samsung shop. I am a defender of the galaxy

 

[Hobbit]

Good to hear things on the up phil. Can't type for too long as got to go to work as a security officer at a Samsung shop. I am a defender of the galaxy

Brilliant!

I've just shared that with Mrs Hobbit... the clever reply, in a flash, "and on that Note." She didn't even realise how good a reply it was.

 

[Marshy77]

One positive is you've lost weight!

From breakfast yesterday. My beautiful (blonde) wife takes a glass out of the cupboard and then fills it with cornflakes..... she then stares at the glass for 10 secs, and says "I've got that wrong haven't I?" I couldn't answer for laughing!

HAHA

All the best with the recovery Phil, hope your back on the course sooner rather than later.

 

[ADB]

 

[Norrin Radd]

View attachment 22672

you forgot ,heres looking at you Kidney.

 

[Norrin Radd]

there is a new aftershave just out ,i dont know what its called but it smells of breadcrumbs .............the birds love it

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

My beautiful (blonde) wife

How many have you got??

 

[Norrin Radd]

the best joke around at the moment ......................DONALD TRUMP.

 

[fundy]

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."


Good to her the op went well Phil

 

[HowlingGale]

Man being questioned about killing his wife with a stray ball on the golf course.

Police officer: "can you explain what happened?"
Man: "I was taking my normal swing, the ball went wildly right, hit my wife on the side of her head and spun away into the trees. She was just lying motionless on the ground".
Police Officer: "How did a ball become inserted in her rectum?"
Man: "Ummm, that was my provisional."

 

[anotherdouble]

Brilliant!

I've just shared that with Mrs Hobbit... the clever reply, in a flash, "and on that Note." She didn't even realise how good a reply it was.

Ha ha. 1 up to Mrs H.

 

[Region3]

Glad it all went well Phil :thup:


I don't know about cheer you up, but I went to the beach yesterday and saw some absolutely disgusting behaviour.

I was on the seafront and saw a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of loads of kids, suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off.

There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took his baton to the man, the guy managed to snatch it off him and began assaulting the copper AND his wife!

Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausages.