A Yorkshire Christmas Joke.

[Dodger]

Man in deepest Yorkshire calls his son in Devon the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Bristol and tell her.”

Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”

She calls Yorkshire immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up........................................................................................................................................................





The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way.'

 

[feary]

haha

 

[SS2]

Cracker !

 

[Yerman]

LOL, cheers dodger.

 

[drawboy]

A man drives past a country pub on the outskirts of Barnsley and decides to go back in for a swift half. As he approaches the front door he see's 4 old geezers sat on a bench wearing flat cap's. "Afternoon lad's" says the bloke. The old men just mumbled something under their breaths in reply, so he went into the bar and ordered a pint. "1p" says the barman. "1p, how come it's so cheap?" asks the punter. " It's the 100th anniversary of the pub today and I'm celebrating by selling beer at the price it would have been when it opened" replies the barman. "Great, but if you don't mind me asking, Whats wrong with those lot on the bench?" says the guy. "Take no notice mate,they're upset 'cos I'm not having a happy hour"

 

[Basher]

As a proud Yorkshireman I find these jokes extremely offensive!!!

Bloody funny though!

In the tightness stakes I would put Yorkies in the Championship. Scots..... now they're Premier League!

Discuss.

 

[Yerman]

That not what my in-laws (Huddersfield) tell me!
The saying goes a Yorkshire man is just a Scotsman who stopped halfway to London and had all the generosity squeezed out of him!

For what its worth, both salt of the earth.

 

[vig]

2 things wrong with dodgers joke.

Firstly I heard it about two years ago and it WAS a scotsman

Secondly, no self respecting Yorkshireman would pay for the initial phone call. We'd dial the number, hang up and wait for the return call on the 1471 service