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Complaints from Council House Owners. These are genuine clips from
council complaint letters:
My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
passage has fungus growing in it.
It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow.
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it
is cleared.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we
can't get BBC 2.
AND
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van,
because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle
and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
A list of actual announcements that London Tube drivers have made to
their passengers...
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering
from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let
you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
"Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move
ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal
message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the
train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs
away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your ar**
sideways!!!!''
council complaint letters:
My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
passage has fungus growing in it.
It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow.
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it
is cleared.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we
can't get BBC 2.
AND
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van,
because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle
and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
A list of actual announcements that London Tube drivers have made to
their passengers...
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering
from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let
you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
"Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move
ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal
message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the
train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs
away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your ar**
sideways!!!!''
