A dozen Nike One platinums for birdieman...

[Golfer2112]

... were today not offered in place of an MBE. A spokescorgi for the queen said "We do not offer premium, branded golf balls in lieu of medals or honours."

 

[birdieman]

Golfer 2112,
stop it, you are starting to frighten me! I ain't famous enough to have a stalker!

 

[Golfer2112]

OK, I'll stop. No offence or scariness intended.